i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
