i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
the day after is always just damage control
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
