once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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