don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
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