Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
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