if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
