she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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