I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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