i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
You are a genius and a whore.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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