My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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