So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
