I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
