yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I want a musical about memes.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
