What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
