if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
My life is pants optional.
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