I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
