Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
