saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
