Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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