i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
