all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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