either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
