you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
