I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
