It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Terrible idea I love it
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Randomize
