I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
