just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
