His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
