Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
