Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
