If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
