Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
