She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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