I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
i believe in u and ur pee
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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