Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
You can't motorboat a personality
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
