Screwed.edu
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
