At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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