so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize