this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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