These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize