party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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