They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
