I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
