the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Randomize
