Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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