I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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