she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
