i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
