you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
