She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
