I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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