actually, I'm a sock model
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
