weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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