Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Actions speak louder than pants.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
