This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
