But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
