So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize